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Whether you're juggling multiple meaningless flings, dabbling in a spot of online dating, embarking on a new romance or bickering your way through the seven-year itch, The Man Whisperer is here to offer you her honest, no-nonsense, down-to-earth advice on your everyday dating dilemmas and relationship roadblocks.

Dear Man Whisperer
After three years of enjoying the single life, I've decided throw myself back into the dating arena. The trouble is I've completely forgotten how to feel sexy. I know you shouldn't be judged on your clothes and all that but it really isn't helping my self-esteem that my wardrobe looks like it's stuck in the mid 90s.

I went back to Uni to do a masters then had to start at the bottom rung of the ladder after a career change so I just haven't had the money to buy nice clothes. To make things worse, I got made redundant a couple of weeks ago so a shopping trip is out of the question.

As I say, I know it's shallow but hey I want to look hot. I've got three dates lined up. How can I look date-worthy without the Carrie Bradshaw wardrobe?
Helen, 29, Cornwall


Whenever I'm having an "I hate all my clothes!" crisis, I try to imagine what each outfit would look like if my friend Sam were wearing it. Sam is one of those girls who oozes cool and sex appeal. That friend you'd love to hate, except you can't because she's so damn lovely. You know the one who breezes through life being effortlessly good at everything and looking fabulous in the process – even while covered in mud on a mountain bike. She could make tripping over a paving stone look like an applaud-inducing move from Strictly Come Dancing and looks better in jeans and an old T-shirt than most of us could hope to look in head-to-toe Marc Jacobs. She's one of those girls who can transform a bad hair day in a nano-second with a flick of the wrist and a biro to hold it in place. I have spent years trying to master this trick and always end up looking like I've had a fight in a stationery cupboard. And lost.



So Sam is drop-dead gorgeous and naturally skinny, right? Wrong! Sometimes she gets spots, one of her teeth is a little bit crooked and she has a slightly sticky-out tummy. In other words, she is 'normal'. But Sam holds the secret - a must-have 'it' accessory that never goes out of fashion and makes every item in your wardrobe look a million dollars: Confidence! She doesn't spend hours in front of the mirror questioning whether this top is trendy enough or those jeans make her bum look big, she just asks herself if she likes this top/that pair of jeans and if the answer's yes, that's good enough for her. And as a result whatever she wears you find yourself wanting to go out and buy one – even if it's a white vest from Primark.

So, next time you're stressing about your clothes, ask yourself this: What is the real problem here, the outfit or you? If the answer is the latter, look in the mirror, throw your shoulders back, flash your biggest smile, say, "I'm fabulous" and be on your way. Failing that, invest in a pair of bright red killer heels and the confidence will follow.

Email The Man Whisperer about your dating dilemmas and relationship roadblocks at manwhisperersos@aol.com.


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